2020

The house had not been lived in for years and no maintenance carried out for just as long. It was falling down.  The house was freezing.  An estate agent might have said, “Has potential.”  But I couldn’t see the potential myself; the re-wiring alone seemed an impossible task.  In fact, I didn’t think it mattered if the house fell down.  In some ways, I thought it might be better for everyone if the house fell down because then nobody need be responsible for the house.  But one day, I realised that the house was still providing shelter for some; what would happen if it wasn’t there anymore?  Worse still, what if it came down when others were inside and were damaged in the process.  It wasn’t just a vainglorious project.  I started to see the potential.  Perhaps the house could be strong again; could be an inviting place where people wanted to be, where people felt happy and protected.

 

The task was massive though. Where to start?  It was hard to remember at times what needed to be done and in what order.  Real change is so hard to achieve.  It is not just a case of repainting the kitchen walls a bright colour and hoping then that everyone likes to be in the kitchen, hoping that they don’t notice that those same walls are crumbling and need re-plastering.  Real change takes consistent effort every day.  It means that maybe all the walls need to come down and be re-built from the ground up.  Choosing the colour of the paint is a long way off.

 

First, the house needs to be made secure because it has not been in the past; anyone has been able to come in and take what they want; to come in and take up residence and turn away the neighbours when they wanted to help.  But in making the house secure, it is important that the right people still have access.  The right people need to be given the key code so that they can come in and start to help with the rebuilding.

 

The attic has been neglected for a long time and will need to be thoroughly cleared.  It is frightening to think what might be up there. But you only have to look once in order to know what you’re up against.  Once you’ve looked and processed the work that is involved, it can’t shock you again. It’s not going anywhere, you can take your time and get a skip; pass some things on, make sure anything of value is stowed away safely and not thrown out with the rubbish.

 

The real challenge is the roof.  It needs completely replacing.  And there is such a temptation to do a botch job that could see you through the next couple of years.  But you’d never be happy.  You’d look up and be reminded of how strong the roof could be.  And you’d know that the time would come when the whole thing had to be replaced, probably because it would be threatening to fall in again. But then the negative voices start their campaign of doubt.  They say, but what if a hurricane comes when the roof is off?  The house will never withstand a hurricane without a roof; the risk is huge.  It’s true that whilst the roof is being repaired, the house is temporarily weakened. But in its current state, can the house withstand a hurricane?  It’s not guaranteed.  But imagine when that new, strong roof is in place.  Imagine what the house can withstand then; imagine how strong it will be. Keep thinking about that; there is nothing to lose.  Sure, you might need some scaffolding whilst the roof is being replaced and the neighbours will need to be particularly understanding but you can pay them back later; they will be so pleased that the house is finally standing firm and not being looted all the time.

 

Finally, when the house stands strong again, the decoration can be chosen.  Perhaps I will not want the bright colours, perhaps I will not want to cover the walls in art.  Perhaps I will be happy for the raw materials of the building to be on display, perhaps the very strength of the new building becomes its own beauty.  Or perhaps I will paint the kitchen orange.  It will be my choice.  The house will be so warm.